Shaving

OK so I work at Costco and because I work there I need to have a “Professional Image.” In other words I need a baby face, or a nicely shaven beard. I hate shaving, unless it’s for a wedding or a nice occasion but for work, it’s just not fun. I can't grow a full beard and if I could I don't think I would want to. I don’t want to look like Hagrid from Harry Potter. I just want a nice goatee, something that’s nice but isn't to outdoorsy. But I can’t even grow that. So yeah I shaved today but I fooled my razor. I only cleaned up my face leaving a chin strap and a little goatee. Who’s the master of the blade now?

Garfield

Why?

Why do people start to slow down half a mile before they make a right turn? Why don't they slow down closer to the corner? And why is it that when you think you should make a security visit to the restroom before a lovely outing, you think "No I'm fine I don’t need to go," but then five minuets down the road your body’s going "Ha-Ha who needs to visit that porcelain bowl now?" Why would your body play tricks on you like that?
And why on earth is a Chihuahua a dog? It looks more like a rat.
Why?

Costco Chicken

Put the chickens in the oven. Take the chickens out of the oven. Put the chickens in the oven. Take the chickens out of the oven. Five hours of the, “In and out,” game. Thank God I only have three more days of this.